We went to a park yesterday. I had emailed a local group to say we'd be there and invite people to join us. No one responded that they were going but, being hopelessly optimistic, we went anyway.
We got there and it looked like a toddler factory exploded. There must have been about 50 kids all in the 2 and 3 year old (or younger) range. Every few kids had at least 1 parent. The joint was hoppin'.
So the kids set to playing. Owen had a blast, running around like a nut. He was playing hide and seek with Bridget but she got angry that he found her (ok, he does tend to peek a lot) so I played with him for awhile.
Bridget lasted about twenty minutes and then I saw her sitting on a piece of play equipment with a totally disappointed and bored look on her face. We chatted and she asked "when are they getting here?" (something she'd repeat on and off throughout the day). I told her I didn't really know if anyone was coming in the first place (I don't think she totally gets the whole email list thing).
Since I had told the list we'd be there 12:30 I didn't want to leave right away in case someone showed up late, so I decided we'd stick it out for an hour. About 45 minutes into it, a family with two older kids arrived. I didn't recognize them and had no idea if they were from the list but older kids is older kids, right?
I pointed them out to Bridget. Particularly the older girl who was doing a much better job of being exquisitely bored than Bridget was. I got distracted playing hide and seek with Owen for awhile but when I came back, Bridget was still bored and alone and the other girl was still bored and alone. I asked Bridget why she didn't want to play with them and she said she had tried but they walked off. I suggested that maybe they hadn't heard her say hello but she said they had.
Odd. Bridget is usually a social little thing but she seemed so uncomfortable then. I'm pretty sure she either didn't talk to them or they didn't actually hear her and I'm not sure what's up with that.
Finally, after the hour (and the other family left anyway) we gave up and left the fenced in playground to explore the park at large. The kids played in the half drained pond, throwing rocks with a little boy they met there. Then we went to a bagel store for lunch and finally we went back to the park to meet the friends who were picking up Bridget for her sleepover.
The whole day was a learning experience. First, don't commit yourself to a park day if you're not sure anyone else is going! We told the list we'd arrive at 12:30 and our friend told us she'd arrive around 3:30. It would have been fine with friends but was definitely too long to sit around, wondering if "anyone" was going to show up.
Second - I guess the days of being able to just take the kids to a park and hang out with whoever is there are gone. Bridget has always been pretty social but now, at 9, she's just too far past the age of the average kid at a playground during school hours. She'll happily play with kids younger than her - just the other day she had a blast with a random 5 year old we met at the school yard - but 2 or 3 is really pushing it. Kids that age usually can't play the type of games she wants to play.
Of course if I hadn't said others were coming it might have been different. Or maybe not. Really, if I had told Bridget we'd be going to a park by ourselves and no one else was coming, I'm pretty certain she'd have opted to stay home instead.
I also wonder if maybe, at 9, she's starting to get into the self concious social stage. The stage I was born into and never left ;-) I think if I had known the other family and introduced her to the girls, it would have been ok. Left on her own to "just go talk to those kids", it didn't work.
Things are changing lately. My baby girl is growing up and it's just weird. She wants her ears pierced, she want to dress differently, she just seems all over a tiny bit more grown up lately. I guess this is part of it.
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